'Little Billy' Letters Fools Sarah Palin, Church of Scientology

By: Kara Gilmour
Staff Writer
Published: Mar 13, 2010

William Geerhart, who created the eight-year-old 'Little Billy' character, sent the first letter 15 years ago after being bored and unemployed.

If you were one of the lucky ones, you probably received a handwritten letter from one 'Little Billy' asking for advice. His real name is Billy Geerhart, he's eight years old, and he lives in Los Angeles. It was one big prank that ran for 15 years.

Little Billy once asked John Major how to be elected class president. The British PM merely sent back a signed photo. Billy also contacted former US Defense Secretary Robert Macnamara, asking him whether a moat would protect his tree house from invasion.

"It will work if you dig it deep enough, and your enemies can't swim," Macnamara responded.

Billy even sent a letter to bra-burning feminist Gloria Steinem asking, "If the Six Million Dollar Man hit the Bionic Woman in a fight, would that be wrong?" Steinem replied, "The short answer to your question is yes... it would only be fair if it was done in self defense."

One summer, Billy contacted some of America's most notorious serial killers, asking if he ought to drop out of school. David Berkowitz, known as Son of Sam, told him to stay in education and not "do self-destructive things." On the other hand, Charles Manson sent him full page notes that never made any sense.

They were all victims of a big hoax. Billy Geerhart was actually an adult, who has spent 15 years scrawling fake letters to public figures. The highlights have now been compiled in a book, Little Billy's Letters, which will be released in the UK next month.

William Geerhart, to use the author's proper name, invented Little Billy in 1994. He came up with the idea when he moved to Los Angeles hoping to become a screenwriter. When he found himself without a job, he started mailing to the rich and famous.

His first letter was fake fan mail to Dan Quayle. The former US Vice President's replied. In fact, Quayle was amazed that an eight-year-old was commenting on his public memoirs.

After that, Geerhart began sending a letter every few days, squirreling the replies away in a private collection. He has narrowed down the 1,000 or so replies to Billy's letters to 120 for his book. The book even includes a letter from OJ Simpson's attorney, Robert Shapiro, offering advice on how Billy might get away with having destroyed his sister's doll, "you should accuse the family dog of eating it and hire a good forensic dentist."

Geerhart said yesterday that he'd had trouble pitching the book to publishers because of concerns over copyright. However, William Morrow eventually took it on, hoping to mimic the success of similar bestsellers, such as William Donaldson's Henry Root Letters.

His favorite chapter is when eight-year-old Billy wrote to the heads of religious organizations. He told them that his parents have allowed him to choose a faith, and asking if they think he should join theirs. The Mormons sent missionaries to his doorstep, while the Church of Scientology sent him a letter with a pamphlet, "Becoming an Operating Thetan."

"It contained a list of self-improvement courses they'd send me on," Geerhart said in a statement. "Some cost tens of thousands of dollars. It was fascinating that they saw fit to send that to an eight-year-old."

Eight-Year-Old Boy Writes To Church of Scientology

- Dear Church of Scientology, My parents have allowed me to choose my own religion. Could you tell me what's cool about yours? My friend Eddie says you like aliens and volcanoes, which sounds cool! Thanks, Billy

Dear Billy, Scientology is not a religion based on aliens and other such things. Scientology means: "knowing how to know in the full sense of the word." Do you have internet? I say this because you can get loads of information that [sic] if you go to scientology.org!? Love, Brittany Garrett, LA Registrar

Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin

- Dear Governor Palin, This is a project for my school. We're supposed to write to ask someone we admire a question. My grampa helped me find your address. He likes the way you wink at him from the TV. My question is we visited Alaska would you take us wolf hunting from your helicopter? That would be really cool! Could you also send a picture? Sincerely, Billy

Billy, Thank you for your letter to Governor Palin. I'll get it to her tomorrow. Like your Grandpa, I also like the way Sarah winks. I'm helping her with the mail... No wolf hunting from helicopters here. The news media thought that up. It is done in Russia, though, where pictures came from. Best Regards, Chuck Heath (Sarah's dad)