Lisa Robertson and her beardless husband Al are opening up about their pasts in their new memoir, according to The Spreadit. The Duck Dynasty family has made headlines for their particular brand of conservative family values, but she and Al, who is the eldest son of family patriarch Phil, reveal that they took a long and winding road to arrive at peace.
She was in the sixth grade when she met eighth-grader Al. Lisa Robertson writes that she attributes her deep infatuation for a boy at such a young age to molestation she suffered as a child at the hands of a male relative, abuse she says started when she was 7 and continued until she was 14.
“It was the ‘why’ behind my ‘what,'” she wrote. “In other words, it was the driving force behind behavior some people might have considered inappropriate…Consciously I think I felt I was supposed to have a ‘man’ in my life to please.”
Lisa Robertson and Al did not become a couple, and she says that broke her heart and she started acting out wildly. According to the Examiner, Lisa started dating one boy in particularly, a guy “old enough to buy alcohol and drugs, and at the time, I viewed that as a plus.”
Then, she wrote, she found out she was pregnant a few weeks before her 17th birthday and, while the boyfriend was excited, she immediately decided to have an abortion-a choice she couldn’t forgive herself for for years.
“I have spent time with many young women who have been molested, had abortions and been through other types of trauma and shame,” Lisa wrote. “Lots of them tell me they simply cannot get over what hapened to them…I often ask people who struggle to forgive themselves, ‘If Jesus can forgive you, why can’t you forgive yourself?'”
Lisa Robertson is also pro-choice. A Google search of “Duck Dynasty abortion” leads to a bevy of articles about the family’s fierce pro-life stance. Phil Robertson earned plenty of headlines for repeated intense anti-abortion statements like this one:
“If the dude or woman is for ripping human fetuses out of their mother’s womb, don’t ever vote for that. Don’t ever say “yes” to that. It’s terrible. … We’ve lost it, folks. We ran God out of our schools. We ran him out of the entertainment business. We ran him out of the news media. We’ve run him out of the judiciary, and we’ve run him out of Washington D.C. Well, what you get is what is left up there. They’re ungodly.”
So it’s interesting to hear Lisa Robertson say she has a softer view on abortion than some of her family members.
Lisa Robertson and Al also wrote about living “a double life” when he was a young man, having an affair with a woman who was still married, popping speed to stay awake on the job and drinking heavily. After a violent confrontation with his girlfriend’s husband, Al wrote he returned home to his family and started to see the error of his ways. Lisa and Al obviously later reconnected and had two children together-but they also reveal in their book that Lisa had a 14-month affair back in the 1990s that almost destroyed their marriage.
Unfortunately, she felt unable to tell anyone about her pain and suffering. The abuse lasted for seven years and caused her an unimaginable amount of grief and trauma.
“I don’t remember how he threatened me (every abuser threatens) if I ever told anyone about it, but whatever he said worked … I never told my mom or my dad about the abuse.”
When she turned 14, she found the strength to stand up to her abuser and told him that she was going to tell her father. She never did tell anyone, though, and later on married Alan. The two were seemingly happy, but Lisa still had issues relating to the childhood abuse.
“It was mentally damaging,” she explained. “Being abused did something to the way I thought about myself and about men in general. It set into motion some unhealthy thought processes. I unconsciously began to believe my purpose in life was to please men. The affair lasted 14 months. Alan was devastated and eventually so was I.”
The truth was eventually revealed, and Alan and Lisa worked together to reconcile and heal. It took a lot of prayer and honesty, but the couple is now happy with their marriage.
Al writes that he started suspecting in 1999 that Lisa was seeing someone and then he got hard evidence in the form of cell phone records.
“It was really hard,” Al said in a recent interview, discussing their book and the aftermath of Lisa’s affair. “It was one of the most difficult things our family has ever gone through…What I will say is that once I made the decision that I was in a place where I could forgive Lisa and I wanted our marriage to work, [his family] got on board behind me. It took a little while for each of them in their individual way to work through their issues with Lisa, but they did. And now we’re very close and they’re very close to her.”
In the book, Lisa Robertson also connects her infidelity to her childhood abuse, writing, “As we have spoken with other couples whose marriages have suffered an affair, we have learned that a sinister bond exists between abuse and infidelity.” Al did say that his family wanted him to dump Lisa after she cheated on him, but eventually they came around, notes FOX News.