Best Political Jokes and One Liners

By: | 06/16/2011 05:46 PM ET

The best political jokes and one liners. These one liner jokes are more funny because some of them were actual statements made. I don’t even think they planned to say some of these things, but they are really hilarious.

“The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.” - Will Rogers

“In archaeology you uncover the unknown. In diplomacy you cover the known.” - Thomas Pickering

“I believe that people would be alive today if there were a death penalty.” - Nancy Reagan

“When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer ‘Present’ or ‘Not guilty.’” - Theodore Roosevelt

“Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.” - Doug Larson

“Today’s public figures can no longer write their own speeches or books, and there is some evidence that they can’t read them either.” - Gore Vidal

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it wrongly, and applying unsuitable remedies.” - Sir Ernest Benn

“On my arrival in the United States I was struck by the degree of ability among the governed and the lack of it among the governing.” - Alexis de Toqueville

“Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.” - Ernest Benn

“There’s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.” - Will Rogers

“Politicians make strange bedfellows, but they all share the same bunk.” - Edgar A. Shoaff

“You can fool all of the people all of the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough.” - Joseph Levine

“Artificial hearts are nothing new. Politicians have had them for years.” - Mack McGinnis

“Don’t vote. You’ll only encourage them.” - Anon

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