Crystal Metheny was arrested, not because of her name, but for shooting an offensive missile into a car in Polk County, Florida. Metheny was arrested and released the following day after posting $5,000 bond.
However, there’s more to the story. The actual arrest occurred May 5 when Metheny was charged for shooting an offensive missile into a vehicle, according to public records from the Polk County Sheriff’s Office. It should be noted that under Florida law, a “missile” can be defined as “a stone or other hard substance,” so this should not be construed to mean that she was necessarily launching rockets into passing cars.
The 36-year-old woman was also arrested in Polk in 2012 on a marijuana possession charge, records show.
The Polk County Sheriff’s Office did confirm that Crystal Metheny was her real name, and not an alias. When a reporter called to express his amazement over the moniker, a sheriff’s office spokeswoman, identified only as Linda, told him, “Sir, this is Florida. We have a lot of interesting names here.”
Maybe Metheny and infamous Florida man Edward Cocaine should join forces. They both have one thing in common: their 15-minutes of fame. All because of their name.
That’s okay, I have a better one for you. I went to school in Florida with a guy named Dan Dickgraber. The room snickered during roll call.